How to Impress a Girl You Like

February 15, 2022 Greg Aronoff

How to impress a girl you like?

But that's not really the whole story, and why limit ourselves to just two words?

Especially if a picture can tell like a 1,000 words, here's a treasure trove of 9,000 words (aka nine infographics) that will answer:

   •   What women find attractive
   •   How to know if a girl is flirting
   •   How to impress a girl over text
   •   How to kiss a girl

WOMEN MUST-HAVES

Let's first look at what women find attractive.

This first infographic comes courtesy of eHarmony.com, with their classic Must-Haves List.

eHarmony has been around since 2000 and according to datingsitesreviews.com they've had 66 million customers, so this is a pretty good source of what women are looking for.

It's interesting that sense of humor is number one for both men and women. So, can you learn to be funnier?

Well, Drew Carey likes to share the story that he checked out comedy writing books from the Ohio public library.

The exact books he used aren't known, but Mel Helitzer's Comedy Writing Secrets is sort of the equivalent for comics as Syd Field's classic Screenplay book is for screenwriters.

Here's a pretty good summary. I might curb the hostility portion until at least date two.

YOUR MOVE: If you want to be funnier, here are a few steps from the classic book:

Watching: Look for absurdities of life. Notice the physical actions that bring a smile to people's lips.

Reading: If you read something funny, make a note of it. Notice the construction. Keep adding to your joke file.

Writing Exercises: Break out the laptop and write out your worst dating experience, or a time when there was a big miscommunication (think sitcom).

WHAT WOMEN FIND ATTRACTIVE

This next infographic comes courtesy of freedating.co.uk, which is a free dating site in the UK. It's like the classier version of ... well, some free sites we have here.

Based on the percentages, women want a man who's...

#1 Disabled or Not - they don't care (66%)
#2 Single (55%)
#3 (tie) Non-Smoker (40%)
#3 (tie) Interested in Serious Relationship (40%)
#4 Employed (39%)

What should you takeaway? You probably have more going for you than you think.

A lot of guys have a limiting belief that they're 'not good' enough, and hold up this fictional ideal of what women find attractive.

Then sadly, they delay going after the girl they really want until they become that ideal person.

On one side, it's great to have a goal of bettering yourself and becoming your best self. But on the negative side, it means you're putting off your own happiness and crushing your self-esteem because you feel you're not good enough.

Perfection isn't real and based on this list - it's not what women want.

YOUR MOVE: One simple way to break the shackles of your imposed ideal-self is take stock of what makes you awesome right now.

There's a great Ted Talk by Niko Everett and one of the takeaways is to get out a piece of paper and write down the 10 things that you admire about yourself.

Doing this one thing consistently can help breakdown barriers you've built and help you feel more confident about yourself right now.

And having confidence will always be one of the things that attract women.

HOW TO KNOW IF A GIRL IS FLIRTING

Continuing on. Once you've gotten down the 'how to be more attractive to women' part, the next step - flirting.

Or more accurately, how to know if girl is flirting with you.

The next infographic comes courtesy of datingadviceguy.com, and is a pretty great visual for non-verbal signs to look out for.

According to Vanessa Van Edwards and the great site at scienceofpeople.com, women are better at giving and receiving body language cues.

Researcher Monika Moore found men often miss a woman’s first eye-gazing courtship signal. On average women need to eye-gaze 3x before a man takes notice.
Women might be better at reading body language because more of their brain is active when they evaluate other’s behavior. When in an MRI women have 14 to 16 active brain areas while evaluating others, whereas men only have 4 to 6 active.

YOUR MOVE: Get your Sherlock Holmes on and become more observant.

There is a great list on superheroyou.com that goes over how to practice and improve your observation skills.

Here's #9 - Listen More. Observation takes all five senses, including the sense of hearing. Next time your friend has an issue they want to discuss, devote your full attention. Become fully present (turn off your phone if you need to) and don't interrupt or offer advice. Instead ask questions and be fully engaged.

It's been shown that being a great listener is one of the keys to being more charismatic.

HOW TO IMPRESS A GIRL OVER TEXT

Once you've successfully flirted and gotten her number, now it's time to master your texting game.

The next infographic comes from the super helpful TheArtofCharm.com, which is a great site for specific and tactical advice.

One of the key takeaways from the infographic below is: 73% of women prefer text as the first form of communication.

Which for most guys (especially introverts) this is great news. Because you don't have to worry about what to say on the phone or more importantly what to say when leaving a message.

Instead, texting allows you to think through and write the perfect response before sending... with the goal of meeting up in-person.

YOUR MOVE: If you're writing long autobiographical texts - stop.

Texting is a means to an end, not the actual end itself. So, think of something she's mentioned and offer her two fun date ideas for either next Wednesday or Thursday. (note - Friday and Saturday are reserved for non-first dates or hanging out with your buddies).

TEXT MISTAKES GUYS MAKE

If you've successfully texted and landed the first date - that's awesome!

But what if you're still waiting to hear back from her?

The next infographic comes from pickupmetrics.com. There's a great takeaway on what you shouldn't be texting.

Women were asked their two biggest pre-date text dealbreakers that led to them flaking on a first date. They were:
• (60%) Being desperate and needy
• (44%) Talking dirty

YOUR MOVE: Don't be too eager and don't be boring. Texting with a new/random person can be scary, so let's also add don't be creepy.

If you can, try to keep it a 1-1 ratio. Send one text for every one you receive. And don't respond the moment you get a text.

You can be a little mysterious - just don't be weird about it.

One way to avoid asking boring questions is to set up a game or contest, like whoever can take the funniest picture of the day. Loser pays for the first round of drinks (or miniature golf or whatever your date game plan is).

Then head over to thechive.com (or the mobile app) and download the funniest picture you can find. This will show your sense of humor and she (should) then associate you = funny.

HOW TO KISS A GIRL

So once you have your texting game dialed in (no pun intended), you go out on a great date and then it's time for the first kiss. Congratulations!

This last infographic comes coffeemeetsbagel.com, which is a free dating app that uses Facebook data to pick your best matches.

It's interesting that nearly 60% of women surveyed said that when they're ready to be kissed they lean in while talking or make more physical contact.

Which is great, but for most guys (see above on how we're not really good at reading body cues) it's still a bit nerve wracking to know if you should go for it or not.

YOUR MOVE: Here is David DeAngelo's famous kiss test.

It's great in it's simplicity and that it's pretty much rejection-proof.

"If I’ve been talking to a girl and want to know if she’s ready to be kissed, I’ll reach over and touch her hair while we’re talking and make a comment about it. I’ll say “Your hair looks so soft” and just touch the tips of it.

If I see that she's receptive to what I’m doing… that she’s “responding positively” by allowing this “innocent” physical contact… it’s game on.

If I see that she’s smiling and drawing closer as I touch her hair instead of tensing pulling away, I can take it as a sure sign... she's "feeling it"

But listen… if she does pull away at this point… or shows any sign that she’s not into it… that’s when I know to STOP and move on. And YOU should, too. This isn’t about forcing anyone to do anything.

But if she’s smiling at me… then here’s what I’ll do next:

I’ll reach back over and start stroking her hair some more.

But this time, I’ll glance down at her lips, back up to her eyes a couple of times. Reinforcing in her that there’s a CONNECTION happening between us.

So to wrap up, the short answer on how to impress a girl you like - be yourself.

Making sure to appreciate who you are right now, but also striving to be your best self.

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